Tuesday, March 06, 2007

32 Years Young


Throughout my life, my mom has made it a practice of telling people her wrong age. I'm not at liberty to say what age she really as, but throughout my years as a young child, she would often tell people she was sixteen. I believed it until I was about six, when Matt pointed out that if Mom were sixteen, she would have started reproducing at eight. He also mentioned how she's been perpetually "sixteen" throughout the duration of our lives up until that point and there would have had to come a time where she would have turned seventeen. This made sense to me, as I had taken for granted that she would have had to have aged within this time.

I remember one of Mom's birthdays when Matt called the three brothers together to discuss a scheme that he was wanting to hatch. It seemed that Mom's favorite radio station, KUDL, would announce birthday greetings to specific listeners on their morning show. The plan was to call the station that morning and request an on-air "happy birthday to Judy Teel, who is sixteen today. From her three sons." It was a genius plan, mixing an actual birthday greeting with the irony that she was turning sixteen all over again. Not to mention that she would have "three sons" requesting the greeting.

Matt made the call. Then we waited. With any luck, she would hear the message as she drove us to school, but the announcement did not come. As we climbed out of the car in front of the school, Matt encourage Mom to continue listening to the radio as long as possible (for reasons unknown to her). We arrived home that night to discover that the DJ never announced Mom's birthday. We were all disappointed, and told her of our failed plan. She laughed and thanked us for our efforts. It wasn't until a few years later that we realized that the DJ more than likely never announced the birthday greeting, assuming it was a crank call (sixteen year old mother=three kids. Pretty common now, but unheard of in the early eighties).

The age rouse went on for several years afterward. Finally, on one particular birthday, Matt pointed out that he was seventeen years old and, therefore, physically unable to be her biological son. Mom agreed and decided to bump her age up to 32. Now, several years later, she's still 32. And it was last night, when Mom mentioned to our waitress that she was 32, that it occurred to me that her youngest son had just turned that very age. I didn't have the heart to say anything though.

Happy 32nd birthday, Mom. We love you.

24 Comments:

Blogger Steaming bowl o' Calderone said...

Happy birthday Jude!

Love,
Your favorite cousin

06 March, 2007  
Anonymous David said...

Everyone knew that I had married a " younger " woman. When we started out my beautiful bride wasn't to much younger than me,but as time goes on God can do wonderous things!!!! Happy birthday sweetheart.

Your older husband, David

06 March, 2007  
Anonymous Mom said...

Mark, I loved it! Especially the likeness of the picture! I really don't have a problem with my age; I have just always liked the age 32 for some reason. Don't know why. But I do remember the story you told about. You guys are something else!

Love you! Mom

06 March, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Let's see ...

The first time you turned 32, Mom, it was 1981. Reagan was president, Charles and Diana got married, and the Hyatt Regency walkway collapsed.

Our weekly TV schedule was:

Mondays: Little House on the Prairie
Tuesdays: Happy Days, Laverne and Shirley, Three's Company
Wednesdays: Eight is Enough, Taxi
Thursdays: Mork & Mindy, Bosom Buddies
Fridays: Dukes of Hazzard, then Dallas (when you'd make cinnamon rolls or coffee cake)
Saturdays: Love Boat, Fantasy Island

We went to First Baptist Church on 151st Street.

I was in 4th-5th grades at Havencroft
Mark was in 2nd-3rd grades
Jeff was in Kindergarten-1st grade

We lived on Jamestown, of course, and that was before it was painted blue. There was a leak in the ceiling downstairs (in the rec room), and we weren't allowed to use the downstairs bathroom for "Number 2."

All in all, a very good life.

Frasier

06 March, 2007  
Anonymous Yeff said...

First of all - Matt, why do you have to make mom cry?

2) I do believe this time that dad actually DID write the reply above baring his name.

3) Age 32 rawks! At least so far...

4) I had forgotten that you couldn't go No.2 in the downstairs bathroom. Back then, I didn't know why, and I didn't rationalize it, I just accepted. Now I realize that it was because it would have, of course, smelled up the rec room while we were watching TV.

5) And happy birthday again, this time in written form! Sorry I haven't gotten to this sooner, it's been one of those weeks...

07 March, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

No, no, no. Youngster.

We couldn't use that downstairs bathroom because it was fussy and stopped up easily. Mom and Dad made that rule the second week we lived there.

I remember sometime before they moved, Dad told me that we really could use that downstairs bathroom now, if we wanted. So I went to use it, but it just felt--wrong. So I waited for one of the upstairs one to clear out.

Old habits ...

Frasier

07 March, 2007  
Anonymous Mom said...

Yes, Frasier, you're correct in that the toilet would have backed up. It was, as you put it, "fussy".
Why did Dad tell you that you could go ahead & use it? Maybe he wanted to teach you how to clean it up?

You guys are all crazy, but lovable! And yes, Dad did write the above response. He obviously still believes I'm still 32.

Thank you, my favorite cousin, for the happy birthday wish.

Love ya'all!
Mom

07 March, 2007  
Blogger mwt. said...

I used to use that toilet when Mom and Dad were gone. But we can't forget that the room also served as the bathroom for the cats. So we had the litter box right there in front of the toilet, which there was barely any room for anyway.

I just remember sitting there and looking down at that litter box and being put off by it. I think Mom put it in there to detour us from using it. mwt.

07 March, 2007  
Anonymous yeff said...

If you remember too, that bathroom also doubled as a recording studio for the voice overdubs to that first Sterling Beat record.

I think the litter box was still in there during those times, too.

08 March, 2007  
Blogger Steaming bowl o' Calderone said...

No one ever told me of that rule. Now I'm all embarrassed.

08 March, 2007  
Anonymous Mom said...

Okay guys, I hate to tell you, but you're wrong about the litter box being in the downstairs bathroom all the time. It was only in there when one of the cats was sleeping in the bathroom at night. The rest of the time, i.e., during the day, the litter box was in the basement. Remember the brick with the felt on it that Matt btought home as a gift one time? We used that brick to prop the basement door open so the cat(s) could get to their litter box in the basement. Now do you remember?

Favorite Cousin, never be embarrassed around us, okay? We love you as you are.

Mom

08 March, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OH YEAH!! I forgot that one of the cats had to sleep in the bathroom.

And I remember now having to take the litter box downstairs in the morning and bring it upstairs at night.

And that brick with the felt was supposed to be a place to put fireplace matches, not a DOORSTOP.

I remember it all now!

Frasier

08 March, 2007  
Blogger mwt. said...

And there was that big flashlight on the floor next to Mom and Dad's door. And sometimes it was a doorstop.

And sometimes it wasn't.

mwt.

08 March, 2007  
Anonymous eliminator said...

Okay you guys which cat was it that had to sleep on the Shitter!

Who ever answers this question correctly gets Hannah!!
El!

08 March, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

T.J. slept on the (ahem) toilet.

Toby slept downstairs.

And I don't want Hannah.

Frasier

09 March, 2007  
Blogger Steaming bowl o' Calderone said...

What's wrong with Hannah, "Frasier"? She's a sweet dpg!

09 March, 2007  
Blogger Steaming bowl o' Calderone said...

dpg is how the cool kids spell dog by the way.

09 March, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hannah used to be my dpg. But she's a spaz and we had to get rid of her when we moved to Tennessee. So I gave her to Mom and Dad.

She is sweet though ...

Frasier

09 March, 2007  
Anonymous Mom said...

Yes, Hannah is a very sweet dpg! When we explained to her about this contest, she said she would like to visit Favorite Cousin sometime.

Mom

09 March, 2007  
Blogger mwt. said...

Speaking of dpgs, we need to give a shoutout to Molly Lyn while we're here.

RIP, Molly Lyn.

mwt.

10 March, 2007  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is today her birthday?

Frasier

10 March, 2007  
Anonymous Renee said...

Happy Birthday Judy!!!!! Hope you had a wonderful bday celebration!!!
Big Hug. . . . . Renee

12 March, 2007  
Anonymous Mom said...

Thanks for your birthday hug, Renee.

I hate for this to end, but it looks like it has. This was fun while it lasted.

Love you all anyway!
Mom

12 March, 2007  
Blogger Steaming bowl o' Calderone said...

I know, that dpg loves me and looks forward to my annual visits. Molly Lyn, holla!

13 March, 2007  

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